What if I told you people's perception of you doesn't define you?
I grew up being a kind of, shy person, especially with strangers. I'm the most outspoken person in environments where I feel safe and comfortable with those around me. It's safe to say that I'm horrible... I'm awful at small talk unless you want to have a deep conversation which I'm an expert at. The issue with this is that small talks are the star of the show in a business setting and are often all you need to survive.
The truth is that I worry about crossing boundaries or offending anyone with my words. Therefore, I'm reserved and brief when interacting with anybody I don't know. This can leave the person feeling as if I was uninterested in having a conversation or I was rude. But in reality, I'm always interested to hear from anyone. Maybe people would live up to that impression of me, and I'd go as far as to try to have them have a better experience with me. And sometimes, not even that changes the way they feel about me.
Several people had told me that they thought I was snobby when they first met me and didn't like me, but once they got to know me, I was the opposite. But in reality, I won't have the chance to know everyone in deep, so this won't always be the case. And I'm perfectly okay with that. I understand that it isn't my job to fix every individual's perception of me. Just like I wouldn't judge a person based on one encounter with them, I expect the same from others and moveee o00n.
Imagine how exhausting it would be that, on top of everything we have to do to survive, we walk around thinking about how to fix what others think of us, questioning whether they like us or not or if they have an issue with us or not. That is 100 percent, not your job. Essentially if someone cares about you or has an issue with you, it's their responsibility to communicate with you. If someone thinks something of you, does that automatically defines you? No. Why do we focus so much on the experience others have with us and not on our experience with them, which is as important.
What is in my control is learning and finding resources that will improve my interpersonal skills and even teach me how to small talk. This will ensure I'm more comfortable in the future when exchanging words in a professional setting. I can always ensure I approach others in a professional and friendly matter. What happens from there or how they perceive me is not my responsibility to try to change it. It's simple as that.